I don’t know what’s better than getting fifteen-hundred words in before 7am. It’s as if there might be hope, as if the tears might be worth something, as if an ending might be waiting, as if there will be a day when I send this to my editor, as if there might be a day when I see the cover for the first time, hold the book in my hand, crack the spine and read the first few sentences, and feel the pride of finding what it took to face the empty page so many mornings in a row, feel the pride of knowing that I kept my demons at bay long enough to sneak by them and get my characters to where they needed to go. And maybe, just maybe, someone out there in the world will read it and feel a tiny stir in their heart. Even if it’s just that one person, it will all be worth it.

God, it would have been soooooooo much easier to be a heart surgeon. (That one’s for you, Laura DeNino and Walter F DeNino.)

#ambarelywriting #fiction #expatsinbologna #writeordie #ishouldhavebeenaheartsurgeon #writingishard

This morning, during a breakthrough writing session, I had this random thought that, for the first time in fourteen books, I might shift from Times New Roman to another font, and I’m nearly ashamed to admit how much excitement it gave me, a warm breeze blowing my skirt up. Words are just words but they’re everything too, my way of grasping onto life. Despite the inevitable agony, telling stories is the only way I can make sense of things.

This book is F%^&ing KILLING me, and yet a day like today makes me think I might just get out of it alive. Of course, my angelic wife, who is rightfully annoyed with me right now because I’m awful to be around when I smash into the midpoint of a new book without any sense of how to get up or where to go from here, will remind me that I say the same thing about getting out alive with every single book.

But for real this time, if I do hit my deadline, or if I even get close, or if I even finish this book, come find me and buy me a drink and give me a hug. I’m gonna need it. Especially since I’m just going to do the same stupid thing over again, because there’s always another story that needs to be told, and I’m a monkey willing to be shocked again just to get one more nip of peanut butter.

More importantly, if you see my wife, give her an even bigger hug, because she’s always the brightest light in the darkness and not only puts up with me but gives me the courage to keep keepin’ on. All that, and she’s also suffering through the first two-hundred pages of my first draft about a crew of dysfunctional expats living in Bologna and lying to me and telling me it’s wonderful, needing only a few “minor” tweaks. I love you Mikella Walker.

Thanks for reading my procrastinatory ramblings.

#ambarelywriting #mywifeisthebest #fiction #bookclub #writeordie #ishouldhavebeenazookeeper #expatsinbologna

A doe on Peaks Island, Maine.

The only reason I’m afraid of anyone reading my work-in-progress is that I’m letting the freak flag fly higher than ever before. There are just no F&%!s to give. Zero, zilch. Writing as if I’m the only one who will ever read it, I’ve pulled back the double doors to my soul for an unfiltered view into my lunacy. I feel like a madman as my fingers mash the keys.

Also, I have a title. I can’t share it yet, but it’s nice to finally have one. For me, titles play as much of a role as the premise in providing cohesion to what I’m attempting to write. In a vague way, perhaps one that only rings true to me, the title captures the theme and premise and vibe all in one.

What I’m reminded most this morning is that you don’t always have to have some giant hook of an idea (ala Jurassic Park) to make a great novel. What’s most important is that the author immerse himself so deeply into the flesh of the characters that he sees through their eyes and smells through their nose and feels their love and pain and so desperately wants what they want. That’s how you make the reader care.

I love it when someone says about their favorite author: “I’d read the phone book if he/she wrote it.” That’s exactly what I mean.

From Peaks Island with love,

boo

#amtryingtowrite #fiction #bologna #expatsinitaly #amwriting #IShouldHaveBeenASeniorProductEngineerAtaSemiconductorPlant

Last week, I decided seventy-three times that I’d run out of words and that I was a paper-wasting hack and should go back to school and find another way to pay the bills.

(I also accidentally scared readers by sending out a retirement message via my newsletter that was supposed to be read like a late April Fool’s joke, but my subtle humor was apparently undetectable to some. That’s another story though.)

So far this week, I’ve shed the typist in me and donned the wings of a writer. I suppose it all comes down to accepting that there is no such thing as an easy book, one that will just pour from your fingers. At least in my case. No, every book requires a return to the dark cave where the demons and dragons wait, and even after fifteen books, those monsters do not become less intimidating. They’re actually more terrifying. But when I run my sword (really just a pen) into them, the victories are sweeter than ever.

I even caught myself saying out loud a moment ago, “Maybe, just maybe, I might be able to survive this book, and maybe even weather an entire life of wrangling blank pages, and maybe just maybe, this might be the best book I’ve ever written. And even if it isn’t, I’ve never had more fun or been more immersed or felt more in touch (with all the things) and that is definitely more important.”

Thanks for reading my dumb writer thoughts. Please sign up for my newsletter at boowalker.com if you would like to witness me cram more literary feet into my mouth or read more slaughtered bits of the English language.

#amtryingtowrite #fiction #expatsinItaly #bologna #lakeunionpublishing #boowalkerbooks

Happy Mother’s Day!!

(this was Riggs’s amazing gift to his mom.)

I could not be more happy about this one going out into the world. Can’t believe I have to wait till September. Otis is on his way!

#redmtn #wine #fiction

It’s a Red Mountain kind of day today.

much love @hedgeswine and @goedhartstudio!